Throughout my childhood I watched thousands of movies and often times dreamed that one of my teachers would be half as cool (or as sexy) as one of the many teachers you see in movies. I’ve compiled a list of some of the coolest teachers I could remember off the top of my head. There are many other teachers from movies who I’ve left out because they just didn’t leave a big enough impression on my feeble mind.
Below is my list of the nine coolest teachers, I’ve also listed my reasoning behind why they are cool. If you have any favorites or straight up think my choices were horrible, feel free to comment!
Mr. Garrison – South Park
While I probably wouldn’t have realized my teacher was gay while in Elementary school I definitely would have been able to appreciate all the dirty talk that comes out of Mr. Garrison’s mouth. I am pretty sure that my favorite subject in late elementary school was sex education so I would have been more than happy to welcome Mr. Garrison into our class.
Louanne Johnson (Michelle Pfeiffer) – Dangerous Minds
Michelle Pfeiffer took a lot of bad ass kids who thought they were going nowhere and motivated them into doing something positive with their lives, all the while looking ridiculously attractive for somebody trapped in the mid nineties. If I was in her class I would intentionally be getting placed in detention to spend a little after hour’s time with her. Hubba hubba.
Dewy Finn ( Jack Black) School of Rock (2003)
While Dewy wasn’t technically supposed to be a teacher, he sure pulled off faking it quite well. If my music teacher when I was growing made our class into a living breathing rock band I would probably have been a little bit more excited to attend.
Micky Rosa (Kevin Spacey) – 21
When was the last time your teacher involved you in a massive illegal money making scheme? Micky Rosa orchestrated his brilliant students into one of the largest gambling schemes to ever rear its face in Vegas. Micky taught his students how to count cards and how to do it in teams. Why couldn’t my teachers have taught me anything this cool?
Remus Lupin (David Thewlis) – Harry Potter
I’ve always wanted to know how to perform magic. I’m not talking about card tricks and pulling doves out of a hat; I’m talking straight up Beetlejuice head shrinking action. Remus Lupin from Harry Potter taught kids how to do real magic that you could actually use in real life. To top it off, he also just so happened to be a werewolf; when was the last time you could say that about one of your teachers?
Arnold Schwarzenegger (Detective John Kimble) – Kindergarten Cop
I don’t really have to say a lot about why it would be cool to have Arny as your teacher. But if you really need something, Arnold played John Kimble in Kindergarten cop who was a undercover cop and undercover cops are uhhhmmm, cool. “Who is your daddy, and what does he do?”
Veronica Vaughn (Bridgette Wilson) – Billy Madison
Veronica Vaughn played the hottest third grade teacher to ever step foot in a class room. She not only has a pretty face, but also a wonderful set of mammary glands (That means boobs dumbass!). She paid special attention to Billy Madison as he progressed through the grades. This teacher could pay all the special attention to me she wants! Hell, I would spend four years getting a teaching degree just so I could accidently bump into her in the hall way!
Indiana Jones (Harrison Ford)
Indiana Jones was an Archeology teacher, but not an ordinary one. He taught his class that X doesn’t always mark the spot and that a regular Joe man can find ridiculous treasures all on his own. Even if this might not be feasible in real life, I would have loved to have a teacher who fed be BS stories even a tenth as cool as Indy’s.
Yoda - Star Wars
Well besides the fact that I’ve always wanted a slimy green monster as a teacher, Yoda was an excellent teacher. Yoda taught Jedi mind tricks to those strong in the force. While I would probably never make the cut in Jedi school I still would have loved to have a little monkey like Yoda on my back to give me educational instructions. Oh yea, I wouldn’t mind stealing his light saber when he wasn’t looking too!